On Wasting Time
"Don't waste your time and energy wishing you had a different set of circumstances."
It's difficult to recognize the blessings in your life when it seems to be without, but you're not alone with these feelings - they're generic things.
Lately, I've been weighed down by "what could have been." Throughout college, I never knew what I wanted to be and was always clueless about where I wanted to ultimately end up. I did have enough luck to immerse myself in internships for very reputable companies. It wasn't towards the end of college that I developed this profound passion, that I couldn't fathom, for fashion, but I didn't want to design. I didn't want to write and I didn't want to be a makeup artist. I was obsessed until further introduced to Buying. Why didn't anyone ever tell me this profession existed? It was the perfect combination of the creative and analytic persona I am.
It's relevant to allude - I was graduating in the heart of our splendid economy's failure - the worst time for graduates. (My timing is always horrendous) Then, came Jolie. I became desperate, submitting hoards of resumes, composing books of cover letters, and spending countless hours preparing for interviews until the perfect opportunity finally presented itself: the Merchandise Planner/Buyer position for Target Corporation, with the exception of moving to Minneapolis, MN.
This is my dream. I could have gone. Of course I couldn't have gone - what about Jolie, what about Son, what about my family. And simple as that, I didn't go.
Often times, I reflect on that perfect moment and wish things would've worked out in my past, but as a big advocate of "if it's meant to be, it will be," I ferry on with hope that I'll some day be that buyer (with hard work and luck, of course).
Moral of the story: It's hard to let go of the past when everything seemingly went so well, but don't get so caught up living vicariously there that you can hardly appreciate what you have now.
/ ph: leloveimage